If we could talk to the animals, just imagine it,
Chatting to a chimp in chimpanzee,
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting to a cheetah,
What a neat achievement it would be.

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages,
Maybe take an animal degree,
We’d study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle,
Alligator, guinea pig and flea.

We would converse in polar bear and python,
And we would curse in fluent kangaroo.
If people asked us, “Can you speak rhinoceros?”
We’d say, “Of courseros! Can’t you?”

If we conferred with our furry friends, man to animal,
Think of all the things we could discuss,
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
And they could talk to us.

If we consulted with quadrupeds, think what fun we’d have,
Asking over crocodiles for tea,
Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses and sea lions,
What a lovely place the world would be.

If we spoke slang to orangutangs, the advantages
Any fool on earth can plainly see.
Discussing eastern art and dramas with intellectual llamas,
That’s a big step forward, you’ll agree.

We’d learn to speak in antelope and turtle,
Our Pekinese would be extremely good.
If we were asked to sing in hippopotamus,
We’d say, “Why notamus?” And would!

And we are sure ev’ry octopus,
Plaice and platypus certainly would see it as a plus.
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
And they could talk to us.

We’d study ev’ry living creature’s language,
So we could speak to all of them on sight.
If friends said, “Can you talk in crab or pelican?”
We’s say, “Like hel-we-can!” And we’d be right!

And if we all spoke like animals, who’s need English?
Gradually we’d drop it with no fuss.
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us.