49. INT. MEXICAN MARRIAGE BROKER’S OFFICE – DAY
TRINA and BARNEY stand before the MARRIAGE BROKER and his WIFE. FRANKIE and KAY are standing next to them as witnesses.
BROKER
And so now with de power invest in me I pronounce you divorce. OK, sign de papers. That is fifteen dollars please. Thank you, senor. Fifteen dollars, senor, please. Por favor.
BARNEY
(signing his name)
Barr-neeey Yaay-yul! (laughing) Baby! It was miserable being married to you!
TRINA
(laughing)
Honey, it was hell!
They hug and continue to laugh.
BROKER’S WIFE
Oh, locos!
BARNEY
(to Frankie)
Hey, don’t you want to kiss the ex-bride.
KAY
Go ahead.
Frankie kisses Trina, she responds passionately. The broker’s wife talks to her husband in Spanish, not believing what she is seeing. Barney places a polite peck on Kay’s cheek.
BROKER
(to Frankie, breaking up the kiss)
Hey, the witnesses have to sign at the crease. Hey, no, come on. Have to sign at the crease, makes it very legal. Twenty-five dollars, senor.
Frankie and Kay sign the document.
BARNEY
Twenty-five? I thought you said fifteen!
BROKER
No, I don’t say fifteen. It’s twenty-five dollars. You have a lot of papers to sign, man.
TRINA
Barney, pay the man.
BARNEY
Oh, all right, OK, all right, here you go, go on it was worth it.
BROKER
Muchas gracias, senor.
The broker pulls up his sleeve and shows an arm filled with wristwatches.
BROKER (CONT'D)
(to Trina)
Listen, lady, I have some nice watch for you. Come on, very nice. Come on, come on, just a small one. Come on.
TRINA
No I’ve got one.
BROKER
OK listen, I have a very good deal. Passporte photographias. I make you a package deal. You guys, four for five dollars!